Here at the Walrus we have taken to a show called How I met your Mother. This next year several of us will be graduating from college and stepping out into the real world to find the job of our dreams (yeah right). It will be a difficult journey but with the help of our friend Barney we will land the perfect job. all you need is a Video Resume.....enjoy!
http://barneysvideoresume.com/
sorry....forgot how to upload a video so just open the link and watch in "Awesome Resolution"
Q: Why did Björk buy new shoes?
A: Her old pair was wjorn out.
Q: What is Björk's favorite movie theater snack?
A: Popcjorn.
Was I trying a little too hard?
For the unacquainted, discover the Icelandic vocal experience known as Björk here.
Anyway, in the midst of a summer drought of any new, creative, or entertaining television programming, here is another fantastic impersonation by Kristen Wiig.
Written by: Jamie Quatro
2. dnt wrshp pix/idols
3. no omg's
4. no wrk on w/end (sat 4 now; sun l8r)
5. pos ok - ur m&d r cool
6. dnt kill ppl
7. :-X only w/ m8
8. dnt steal
9. dnt lie re: bf
10. dnt ogle ur bf's m8. or ox. or dnkey. myob.
M, pls rite on tabs & giv 2 ppl.
ttyl, JHWH.
ps. wwjd?
Kids and their technology these days. (PS. If you need a translation...let us know. Text lingo doesn't come naturally to everyone...luckily Megan has a sister in high school who fills us in on the hip new abbrev's those young people are using.)
The internet is a funny thing. Al Gore may or may not have invented it, it allows people who never should have been famous to become so, and every so often an animal does something funny and the resulting video goes viral. This is the story of Fatso, a.k.a. the Keyboard Cat.
Original Keyboard Cat video:
A few weeks ago, somebody had the idea to combine Keyboard Cat with some of the funniest video clips already floating around the web. Basically, if a video of you is re-posted with Keyboard Cat on the end, you know you failed. There are entire websites devoted to these videos, such as playhimoffkeyboardcat.com. One of the thousands of modified versions, this one combines Keyboard Cat with one of the most unbelieveable video clips ever:
Now here's where it gets interesting. Apparently Keyboard Cat is from Spokane. That's right, the 509. You want proof, you say? Well check out this little number from Spokane's local ABC affiliate:
And finally, one of my favorite things about the Daily Show and Colbert Report is The Toss. Once a week or so they do a combined shtick between their shows. Being the culturally relevant comedians/journalists that they are, it was only natural that keyboard cat would show his face here:
| The Daily Show With Jon Stewart | Mon - Thurs 11p / 10c | |||
| Daily/Colbert - Keyboard Cat | ||||
| ||||
Some teachers at the non-profit writing center 826 Valencia just published Thanks and Have Fun Running the Country: A Collection of Kids’ Letters to President Obama. Some of the letters are direct, and others poignant, but mostly they are hilarious. I hand-picked some to share with you.
#
These are the first 10 things you should do as president:
1. Make everyone read books.
2. Don’t let teachers give kids hard homework.
3. Make a law where kids only get one page of homework per week.
4. Kids can go visit you whenever they want.
5. Make volunteer tutors get paid.
6. Let the tutors do all the thinking.
7. Make universities free.
8. Make students get extra credit for everything.
9. Give teachers raises.
10. If No. 4 is approved, let kids visit the Oval Office, but don’t make it boring.
Mireya Perez, age 8
San Francisco
#
Dear Barack Obama,
Congrats on becoming the president of the United States and slaughtering John McCain. I think that, unlike W., you should dodge other countries and not shoes. You should not be so quick to go to war and negotiate with terrorists. I like what you said about bringing the troops home from Iraq.
If you like my letter, know that it's from
D'andre "the King" Legrand, age 12
Brooklyn
#
Dear President Obama,
I want to tell you hi. Do you work with Santa Claus? Can I meet you in your house? Can I say bye to you after I meet you? And then can I meet you again? And then again after that?
Sergio Magana, age 5
San Francisco
#
Dear President Obama,
Here is a list of the first 10 things you should do as president:
1. Fly to the White House in a helicopter.
2. Walk in.
3. Wipe feet.
4. Walk to the Oval Office.
5. Sit down in a chair.
6. Put hand-sanitizer on hands.
7. Enjoy moment.
8. Get up.
9. Get in car.
10. Go to the dog pound.
Chandler Browne, age 12
Chicago
#
Dear President/Mr. Obama,
The best thing about living in the White House would be running around like a maniac. The thing I would like least is the work.
Holly Wong, age 9
San Francisco
Now at 313, we haven't read the Twilight books. We aren't haters, the series just isn't very high on our priority list. However, we have seen the movie, and let me tell you, it has become a guilty pleasure. It is so cheesy and unintentionally hilarious. In honor of the cheeseball factor, we present "Twilight...with Cheeseburgers."
Disclaimer: This is going to be much more funny if you have seen the movie.
We love The Office here at 313 Gladstone.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wLQKsuogUXo
(Sorry, they disabled the embed feature on this video, but we promise it is high quality!)
Let's see...we have a baby. In a onsie. With a mop on it.
Well, here at the Walrus, we really try to keep our comedy clean.
Thanks failblog.org.
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